What a joke.

Copied from the Korea Times:

By Kim Hyun-cheol
Staff reporter

In the start of a new epic for its football history, South Korea made it to the round of 16 at the 2010 World Cup, for the first time in an overseas tournament.

Clumsy, and “In the start?”

Lee Jung-soo scored in the first half and Park Chu-young netted a second after halftime, as Huh Jung-moo’s squad managed a 2-2 tie with Nigeria in its last group stage match in Durban, Tuesday.

He managed to score AFTER half time. That is amazing, and illegal.

The result could have been not enough for a seat in the top 16, but the East Asians outplayed Nigeria and Greece in their Group B competition as Argentina beat Greece 2-0 in Polokwane. South Korea placed second in the group with four points, ahead of Greece with three points and Nigeria with one.

Where do I start? They have a seat? They played Greece and Nigeria at the same time, three teams in on once pitch? They outplayed Nigeria by drawing?

South Korea, which returns to the knockout stage in eight years, takes on Group A leader Uruguay Saturday at Nelson Mandela Bay in Port Elizabeth, where the team got off to a flying start for its World Cup campaign with a 2-0 victory over Greece on June 12.

Did you even try to make that sentence longer? What am I going to read for the next 8 years, while I wait for Korea to return to the Last 16.

South Korea outplayed Nigeria in attacks with 16 shots, eight of them on target, compared to Nigeria’s 11 shots including three on goal. Some critical mistakes in defense, however, gave up two goals to the Africans, which kept the Taeguk Warriors from claiming a victory they could have deserved.

They could have deserved. That is funny. They could have not deserved it. They also could have many other things.

It was Nigeria who took an initial lead. In the 12th minute, Kalu Uche converted a Chidj Odiah cross from the right to a sharp drive in the center of the box that hit the deep right of the net. Cha Du-ri was standing right behind the Nigerian midfielder, but failed to mark him on time.

However, South Korea leveled it in the 38th in a virtual repetition of the first goal against Greece, which led to Lee’s second goal of the tournament.

And this lonely “however”  sentence? I’m already tired of this commenting. You can read the rest of this clumsy article here. I’m not being paid to write decent English, so I al allowed to write the rubbish that I do, but is a news paper that English speaking people read and worse, Koreans use it to improve their English.

They swore Chitty Chitty Bang Bang made sense.

I was giggling at this song, but my adult students swore that Miss Sexy references the original meaning. I don’t see it. Maybe you can.

I even read the plot on Wikipedia and I would love to watch the film now. Did you know there is a Academy Award winning song by the same name.

Here is a translation of the lyrics:

Yeah~ All my ladies and gents Here comes the new Hyori! Are you ready to rumble?! Your words are laughable Your words are laughable Your words are laughable It’s just a, just a big joke Please don’t butt into my affairs Don’t say the same exact thing These are mine; it’s my world. From now on don’t look for me You’re doing your best I don’t need to be worried I’m a loner either way You’re only wasting your breath Just ignore it and walk away (Blah blah) I’m running nonstop (Blah blah) Don’t be afraid, just follow me (Blah blah) Fly a little higher I can make you want me so (I can make you want me so) (Blah blah) Everyone trusts me more than anyone else (Blah blah) Just pretend that I can’t be beaten and join me Gonna be the one that I want Chitty chitty bang bang Chitty chitty bang bang Your words are laughable Your words are laughable Your words are laughable It’s just a, just a big joke I’ve gotten this far alone Where were you when I wanted to help? These are mine; it’s my world Just watch me Face it, you know who I’m You’re afraid of my stage Acting like you’re care and worry about me Rather than doing that, just keep on walking. (Blah blah) I’m running nonstop (Blah blah) Don’t be afraid, just follow me (Blah blah) Fly a little higher I can make you want me so (I can make you want me so) (Blah blah) Everyone trusts me more than anyone else (you trust me) (Blah blah) Just pretend that I can’t be beaten and join me Gonna be the one that I want Chitty chitty bang bang Chitty chitty bang bang Chitty chitty bang bang You’re no competition Rather then butting in, why don’t you just walk away? My explosive performance will make you crazy Just listen to me before something big happens Your words are a joke Keep it up and you’ll get it When I make an entrance all my lady is going down It’s just that you’re the only one that doesn’t know Did you expect to control me? Did I ever ask you to return what I wanted? Please get a grip, Everybody attention, That’s all, I can make it right (Blah blah) I’m running nonstop (Blah blah) Don’t be afraid, just follow me (Blah blah) Fly a little higher I can make you want me so (I can make you want me so) (Blah blah) Everyone trusts me more than anyone else (you trust me) (Blah blah) Just pretend that I can’t be beaten and join me (hurry up and join) Gonna be the one that I want Chitty chitty bang bang Chitty chitty bang bang Your words are laughable Your words are laughable Your words are laughable It’s just a, just a big joke

Please don’t.

I try to teach my student not to do this, they tell them to do it with their feet.

Careful when Peeing

Some Shitty Toothpaste

I need to double check, but the Korean in the second and third line, text that crosses the pile of poop, says "Who put poop on my toothbrush?"

That's right, people, this is toothpaste. Who says Korea is not obsessed with poop?

There is another version that makes the poop theme a lot clearer, but why would I go with that when I can go with pink checkered poop and a Hello Kitty?

Your Top 10, in some language

I might be completely missing something here, but isn’t the main market for K-Pop people from about 10 to about 30? And I might be completely stupid, but haven’t most of the people in this group had to study English at school? At the very least, should all these people not be able to read English, even if they don’t understand anything? Amazing what you can get for thousands of dollars and 10 years worth of study, isn’t it? Why am I thinking about this?

A student gave me the Korean Top 100, K-Pop, remember (wink), and I thought I would use it in class. With that is hand, so to speak, I’m keeping an eye on Soompi for the weekly charts. Now, Soompi is caters for people who might not know Korean, so everything is written with the Roman alphabet. Not so for the songs the student gave me.

Of the ten songs in the, urm, Top 10, only three groups/artists have actual Korean names. The others all have names that are supposed to be written using Roman, but of course, none were.

Three quick things about the Korean sounds.
“Ae” is like the “E” in End.
“Eu” is a bit like the sound you make when you are hit in the stomach, like “Uh!”.
“Eo” is like saying “Ah”, but with your mouth rounded

1. Kara, the arse dance girls, became 카라, not to big a problem, except that students shorten the Ah’s to almost nothing so that it almost sounds like Karra

2. 2AM stays the same. I’m still amazed it doesn’t change to 투에이엠 (Too Ae-ee Aem)

3. CNBlue becomes씨엔블루 and that sound exactly the same with Shi Aen Beulloo.

4. SNSD, is actually an abbreviation, in English, of their Korean name. They are also known as Girls Generation. Strange back and forth between the languages going on with them.

5. 민경훈 (Min Kyung-Hoon). Pure Korean here, mate.

6. T-Ara turnes to 티아라. Suposedly they want you to say the name as if it was written Tiara. Good idea in the air, bad idea when printed.

7. 4men is 포맨. This one made me Laugh Out Loud (LOL, for those who still don’t know what that means). The Korean sounds like “Poh Men” Poh? Really?

8. 김종국(Kim Jong Kook). Lay that Korean on me, baby.

9. U-Kiss becomes 유키스, sounding like Yoo Keeseuh

10. Untouchable is now 언터쳐블, Eonteochyabeul. Not too bad, but hands up, students, who knows what that means.

*****

This happens all over the world and I can’t say I like it anywhere, in any language. I am always hearing about how proud Koreans are of their language and how hard they works at learning English, general life contradicts this idea all the time.

On the plus side, I have found a few nice songs in that Top 100, and a few snappy stick in your head songs as well. Demmit!

Come, you, nooo, YOU.

"Look at all the Waegoogs. Look at all the things they do. We love Waegoogs...who can read and understand Korean."

Magog Temple Stay

You have to wonder what the point is of the photos of foreigners. Are they trying to impress Koreans? Do they think more Koreans will go there because whities go there?

If, maybe, they are trying to show us Waegoogs that is is for us, then would a spot of English not have been more effective?

Aaaaaaaah. Korean Tourism Advertising is almost as good as K-Pop and Konglish.

=D

And another silly K-Pop name is out there

From the Hangeul it seems that F.CUZ is suppose to be a play on Focus. I can see what they are trying to do, but maybe they should use a name that does not need to be explained. Better yet, maybe use something that is not Romanized as "Pokeojeu" and sound a lot more like Picachu, the animation character. =D 

The really funny side, for me at least, is that Cuz, in South Africa, is short for Cousin, and is used like Dude, or Bro.

It means that to me it look like their name is a play on 'F***, Cuz!"
(F***, Dude!" , "Holy S***!" , "Oh My God!" and such)

Yuna’s Hole

Apparently Yuna's Hole is now a matter of public consumption. Now, now. No jokes about how you would be willing to do the eating. I suppose it is Tour le Jour's way to celebrating Kim Yuna's Olympic Gold with this bagel. It is actually quite clever and just me being a dirty old man, but hey, who's going to stop me?

POSER!

Must reads.

Along with Dokdo is Ours, @koreangov is a must read. Even if you know little about Korea, @koreangov will make you smile.

Super Duper English

I feel the need to direct you to another blog today. Read EVERYTHING. You might just miss one, and there are many…

Wrong place for Konglish.

Oh, no!

First, it only works in Internet Explorer, and when I open it in IE I see this? I can only imagine what the other languages might say.

Are they THAT proud that they can’t ask someone check the Naver Translate results? Don’t they have ANY English speaking friends at all? There are many Koreans who can do a much better job than this. I am sure all of our English teachers here would have given them perfect English within a few seconds.

www.ifriendly.kr/e_main.html

As far as I understand it is supposed to help foreigners register with sites in Korea.

Thanks to Brian for letting me on to this one.

I always shiver.

Yesterday, as part of the beginner’s English lesson for adults they were doing the structure “How often do you…” or something of the sort. I don’t have the lesson with me as I write this so can’t be sure. The answer included the phrase “I always…”

In one of the practice phrase, “I always shiver when it is cold”, everyone started giggling. All I could get out of them was that this sounded like a bad word. After taking a minute to think about how this will be written in Korean I figured out that they were thinking of Shibal, with Korean not having a V sound and no R at the end of a syllable.

Shibal (시발) as I understand it, means “S***”, but is often more used as the equivalent of the English exclamation “F***!” No wonder they were giggling.

Note to self, NEVER use this word with the middle school students.

Project Idiot/Otto Proof

It’s midterm exams time and that means I get choose one day out of three to go home early. Because I’m sick and my nose is completely blocked, I’m not going to Hapkido, so it was perfect timing for me to go to Seoul to start implementing Project Idiot/Otto Proof ^© AND get back early.

Project Idiot/Otto Proof ^©, in case you were wondering, is my plan to protect my photos from myself. It involves getting a new 1 Terabyte External Hard Disk Drive and a USB HUB so that I have space to connect my two external drives and still have space for an iPod or USB Thumb Drive and my mouse.

Why 1 Terabyte? Well, I’m already up to 130 gigabytes of photos and a large part of that is from my new camera with which I shoot in RAW. So, basically, although I have way to much space right now I’m planning ahead. By the time this drive is full there will be larger drives available at reasonable prices.

Currently I’m in the last phase of Project Idiot/Otto Proof ^©. I subscribed to Backblaze, an online back-up service, and everything is being backed up. Once that is complete I will be set to go and hopefully protected from myself. However, as you can imagine, backing up 130 gig to an online service is going to take ages. I suspect it will take me a week for my initial backup. Whatever! As long as I get it done, right?

 

*****

 

Now for the side story. I had bought my ticket for the express bus to Seoul and wanted a drink for the ride, so I bought something from a little shop. As I came out I was stopped in my tracks by a woman I don’t know. In a soft voice she asked me something in Korean and then just looked at me, waiting for an answer. I didn’t recognize any of the words so responded that I didn’t speak Korea. Her prompt answer to this was a playful rebuking punch on the chest.

What the…?

Suspecting something was amiss, I looked at her and softly said “Why?!” and again came a weird response. She leaned in to give me what looked like a kiss. When I was obviously not going for it the kiss turned in to an attempted hug. Again…

What the..?!

I blocked the move, looked at her like she was crazy, turned, and walked away. I had moved only a few steps when I heard her running up behind me and felt a punch on the back of my shoulder.

WHAT THE F***?!

I turned and looked at her, wondering what the hell I should do, considering that she is obviously crazy. She just stood there, looking at me so, I turned and started walking again. I heard her coming again and I moved just quickly enough to sidestep another punch.

AAAAAAH! What is this woman’s problem?!

I eventually managed to get her to stop punching me by letting her pass me, because every time I turned my back on her she attempted a punch.

This had really been a frustrating/fun/weird few days of my life.

Utopia…-opia…Vinopia

See a view more at Facebook

You old Whitey

Here is a bit of Korean to get you through the week. After a bit of weird and broken English, one of my students managed to get the point across that White Person = Hundred Person. What?!

It turns out that this is a play of words. A word for “white” is 백인(baek-in), but 백(baek) can mean “100” and 인(in) is a word for “person”

There you have it. Wasn’t that fun?

Random Pictures

Why are only the female teaches allowed to wear cool clothes. Why do we have to wear real shirts?

 

***** 

They say that only crazy people can draw perfect circles. This prove that at least one Korean is not crazy, and by the look of it he has a very long way to go.

 

***** 

Why on earth would my mother's fingers make food more appealing? If it was my girlfriend's fingers, maybe, but my mother's?

How much do I care?

For some reason I never noticed that this old post was possibly from a Korean TV show. Way to teach Global English ;)

All there is to Korean culture

I’m not sure if it was the Gyeonggi Education Department or our city’s program, but yesterday we were treated to “Korean Culture”. 5000 years of history and all you have to show is kimchi and pottery?

No doubt the program was sincerely intended to show us more about Korean culture, and the whole day was quite fun, but sometimes I wonder if Koreans actually know what their own culture is all about. Do they not realize that watching TV on tiny screens on the bus/subway, playing games at the PC bang all day and boiling it up at the Jimjil Bang or Baths are as much part of Korean culture as kimchi is? Would it not be more useful for us to learn more about the history and use of these? Show me ONE teacher who has been here more than a month who has not heard about the whole history of kimchi. Now that I think about it, they never tell us that chili is a comparatively recent addition.

Would it not be more useful for the Provence to work on setting up language schools to teach us the Korean Language? Would we not learn more about Korean culture if we were able to experience it directly with the use of said language? When one of the English teachers asked if there was a place in town where we could study Korean, we were told that we had to ask our school’s teachers to teach us. Really?! You mean they don’t have their own jobs to do? They don’t have homes to go to? You mean that the Korean English teachers are, by default, also excellent teachers of Korean as a foreign language?

Someone was kind enough to start teaching me Korean. She is doing it twice a week and she is doing it free of charge, but we can’t expect others to do the same. How many of US will teach someone free, twice a week, with no ulterior motives? She is married with children and I have a girlfriend, so no sport will ensue from the lessons, only new language abilities. OK, OK. She is learning how to teach Korean and she is actually learning a lot of English from teaching me, but somehow I don’t think that was her goal.

Back to the “Cultural” Day. We were taken to a kimchi factory to experience making kimchi and dumplings. If you have ever been to an after school cooking class, then you will know you don’t learn much. You get most of your ingredients pre-measured, if not already mixed as well. To make the dumplings we only have to scoop the fillings and fold the dumplings. That was it. To make the kimchi we only had to spread the mix on to the already salted cabbage and we were done. If I was asked to make dumplings or kimchi today I would not have a clue where to start.

The pottery lesson was much better. We started from scratch and made or own, well, rubbish. After we did the basics they took our pots, put the clay on the spinning wheel and basically redid the whole thing. It seems a bit senseless, but without that help 95% of our pots will crack in the kiln. This way most of us get a nice little souvenir.

The biggest highlight was this photo. Not only is the company names White Tour, but there is a Foreign Tourist On Board sign in the window. What on earth is that sign about?

All in all the day was fun and I got to meet up with the old and new faces in town. No doubt next time the whole thing will be much better. This was their first try, after all.